What I Learned Before and After Applying to College
The past 6 months of my life have been consumed by one thing: college.
Specifically, applying to college. This intimidating feat has been looming over my head since the second I entered high school and now that I’ve accomplished it, I can finally look back and reflect. Although I’m still waiting on multiple decisions, the process of selecting programs for my specific area of study and prospective happiness was extremely tasking and eye-opening. It was, in fact, as hard as it seemed to 14-year-old Keira.
My freshman year, I wanted to do something else entirely with my life. I wanted to major in communications, eventually go into the communications industry, and do…yeah, I have no idea. I was watching my senior friends applying to college with a fire lit under them, solely because they had an innate passion for what they were going to be studying. I had time to figure out all the kinks of what I wanted to do, but yet, I knew that “communications” didn’t possess the spark that I needed.
In due course, I found my “next great adventure” in psychology and criminology through my own process of trial and error. My mental health struggles, research, media, interviews, internships, and more provided a great deal of information that was enough to light my own fire for both industries. Once I figured out what I wanted to do, I then had to figure out where I was going to take my next steps.
As I’m sure you know, selecting colleges to apply to begins with research, research, research. I compiled a master spreadsheet where I would input all of my newly learned information, and then compare and contrast. This consisted of finding the most competitive and prestigious programs for both psychology and criminology, prerequisites and test scores, costs and locations, and my chances of getting into the schools. I spent months and months revising this list, removing colleges that, upon further reflection, couldn’t supply what I needed, and adding those that could. Finally, the summer before my senior year, I finalized my spreadsheet and came to a total of 15 schools (yes, I realize that’s insane) that I would apply to in the fall.
Soon enough, the time came to begin the application process. Most schools require you to write multiple supplemental essays answering meaningful questions, on top of your personal statement. These questions, although unique to each college, roughly covered the same areas. One that came up regularly was on the topic of my major, specifically why I selected it and what had led me to discover a passion for it. I have never been more challenged as I was then, not only trying to decipher what truly led me to this particular path, but attempting to encompass myself as a person. More frequently than not, I could only use 200 words. After months of writing and revising my applications, I acquired some lessons learned that I held close to me throughout the entire process that also helped me along the way.
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1. Start as early as possible.
I believe I began compiling my list of schools my sophomore year, which was incredibly helpful. It led me to comprehend what exactly I needed to accomplish to be a strong candidate to these colleges, and that’s what I did. Gaining hands-on experience by actively seeking out opportunities such as internships and shadowing, plus conducting frequent interviews and extensive research, truly helped me so much. You never want to be rushing everything you should have done earlier in your senior year, that’s for sure.
2. Take risks.
High school is the absolute best place to step out of your comfort zone when it comes to your “next great adventure.” With the safety net of living at home with your parents, as well as having a support system of your peers, it’s totally okay to switch up what you want to do and try new things. As I shared previously, what I want to do now isn’t what I wanted to do my freshman year. It took time, as well as some personal struggles, to find where I fit in and where I could make a difference. If I had stayed stagnant and remained in the place that I felt most comfortable, I would not have gained valuable, life-long lessons. I wouldn’t be a competitive candidate for colleges either.
3. Ask for help.
For me, it was extremely difficult in the beginning to find people on my own that I could talk to in the criminology industry. It’s a hard area of work to shadow in without having previous connections, and who would want to help out a 15-year-old stranger trying to decipher their place in the world? At the time, I didn’t realize that quite a lot of people would, and at first, I didn’t want to ask for help. After finally expressing some of my obstacles to my friends and family, I was surprised to find that they possessed contacts I could reach out to. From there, I found more and more, and with that, I gained more experience. I was later able to discover connections on my own after lots of work, but without asking for help, I never would have gotten to where I am today. Additionally, these people that I met also provided me with insight on the college application process and gave me some much needed advice.
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After submitting all 15 applications, I’ve never felt more connected to myself. I’ve gained such a strong understanding of what has made me me, and the main reasons I am drawn to psychology and criminology. Each meaningful experience that has led me to the place I am at today, and this portfolio of a website has provided me with the tools to share my personal testimony. Applying to college can be scary and intimidating, and although freshman year Keira would probably be surprised to hear me say this, I’m extremely grateful for every step in the college application process.
A Study on Minds and Reading
In 8th grade, my best friend and I came across this particular photo on Instagram.
The post asked the viewer to first imagine an apple in their head, then come back to the photo and describe which option on the screen fit more with what they saw in their head. I chose Option 1, seeing the most realistic version of an apple in my mind as if it were directly in front of me. My best friend, on the other hand, chose Option 4. As a 13-year-old, this particular difference between us was extremely interesting but at that time, I hadn’t yet discovered my passion for psychology. Because of this, I forgot about this picture entirely.
A couple weeks ago, I came across this photo once again and the memories from 4 years ago flooded back. Simultaneously, I was having discussions with my best friend about what types of books we liked to read. I tend to lean more towards fantasy books, as I can see a “movie” in my head as I read a story. My best friend said the exact opposite, because as he couldn’t see those images in his mind, he tended to stay away from fantasy. Succinctly, this led to a discussion about what types of books he did like to read and if his lack of ability to imagine these realistic pictures impacted the genres he leaned towards.
So, out of curiosity, I decided to conduct a survey to send to family and friends. The picture of the apples was attached, asking the exact question that was in the previous Instagram post, as well as my own unique questions. These included:
Do you like reading relatively often?
When you do read, do you tend to read more fiction or nonfiction?
What subsection of said genre would you say you read the most? For example, fantasy, romance, sci-fi, self-help, marketing, etc.
Now, my pool of people who filled out the survey was rather scattered and small, although most of those were teenagers. In this case, my results don’t provide evidence of a unique finding, but I purely conducted this out of curiosity.
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Apple Question
Out of the 19 people who filled out the survey, 73.7% chose Option 1, 21.1% chose Option 2, and 5.3% chose Option 4. My initial observations were that a lot more people selected Option 1 than I had originally expected, which was a pleasant surprise. Also, every person that chose either Option 2 or Option 4 was male. Every single female that filled out this survey chose Option 1.
Do you enjoy reading relatively often? When you do read, do you tend to read more fiction or nonfiction?
About ⅔ of those that chose Option 1 said that they did enjoy reading, and only 2 people in that group said that they preferred nonfiction over fiction. It was a 50/50 split between those that chose Option 2 whether or not they enjoyed reading but regardless, all of them preferred to read fiction whenever they did pick up a book. The person who chose Option 4 said that they did enjoy reading and preferred to read fiction.
What subsection of said genre would you say you read the most?
The general consensus amongst those who chose Option 1 was that they preferred to read fantasy, mystery/thriller, and literary fiction. The 2 amongst the group that chose nonfiction said that they enjoyed reading history and self-help books. For those that chose Option 2 and Option 4, they said they tended to select mystery and literary/historical fiction. I did notice that nobody within those groups said fantasy.
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After the survey had been conducted and closed, I had a discussion with some of the people that had chosen Option 1. These girls said they could, in fact, see a “movie” play out in their head when they read and each of them said that they tended to be more imaginative as a whole. Although this survey could have been revised with probably more specific questions to generate stronger “findings”, I still found it to be a fun, thought-provoking, and compelling study. I still have so much to learn about the world of psychology (as well as how to conduct a proper “experiment”) but I hope to do more like this soon.
4 Books to Transform True Crime, Forensics, and Criminology
All my life, I’ve been an avid reader. So much so, I am now a bookseller at Barnes & Noble. I’ve always found that my best source of receiving and retaining information comes from books, so when faced with wanting to learn more about the realms of forensic psychology and criminology, I turn to them. Today, I have put together a list of books that I’ve read/learned a lot about that can hopefully provide a bit of insight into past and current happenings within both industries.
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Killers of The Flower Moon by David Grann
Although recently popularized by the release of the movie, Killers of the Flower Moon has been well-known for a while now. The book is described as a depiction of “the birth of the FBI” and follows the Osage Indian Murders of the early 1900s. At the time, the Osage possessed a substantial amount of money as they lived on land that was filled with oil. Eventually, they began to be killed off and those that began investigating met a similar fate. It was one of the FBI’s first cases (that was handled poorly) and set them down a road to become what they are today. Full of deception, mystery, and questions still to be uncovered today, Killers of the Flower Moon will offer the reader a thrilling story of one of the biggest organizations rise to the top.
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Published in 1966, In Cold Blood follows the true story of the Clutter family. In Holcomb, Kansas, nothing ever happens to its lovely citizens until the murder of the Clutters rocks the town off its feet. In tandem, we follow the two killers, Richard Hickock and Perry Smith, as they hatch and execute their plan of action. Truman Capote spent six years writing In Cold Blood and countless days of research alongside Harper Lee learning each aspect of the story. The book describes the days that led up to the killing, the killing itself, and the six weeks afterwards in which the search was conducted for Hickock and Smith. If you want to learn about investigative methods, curated crime, and one of the most renowned cases in history, In Cold Blood is a book for you.
The Poisoner’s Handbook by Deborah Blum
The Poisoner’s Handbook follows the Jazz Age of New York City as the rise of poison rocked its streets. Left and right, people were dying from the effects of perilous chemicals and there was no medicine to combat the spread of disease. The book tells the tale of “the birth of forensic medicine” and how toxicologist Alexander Gettler and medical examiner Charles Norris were the start of it all. I truly believe that The Poisoner’s Handbook is one of the most influential and informative books I have read in a long time. By its finish, the reader will know each chemical that played a substantial part in the previous rise of New York’s death rate and how so many got away with murder for countless years.
The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson
This book has raged across the top charts for months now and for good reason. Although originally published years ago, The Devil in the White City has come back to tell the true tale of Henry H. Holmes and Daniel Hudson Burnham. Holmes used the popularity of a state fair to attract women to his “torture palace” while Burnham was an architect that orchestrated the building of our country’s most well-known structures. Additionally, he also served as the fair’s director of works. The fair was the captivator of them both and the book follows them as they conducted their own plans of action. A true story that will leave readers reeling, The Devil in the White City portrays the reality of true crime to its very fullest.
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These 4 books are ones that have topped the charts for years on end and will continue to do so, as they give readers the thrill, mystery, and unnerving reality that we all seek to learn about. I hope that each of these books will provide you with the information and captivation that it did for me, and educate you on the workings of criminology and forensic psychology in the past and present.
A Visit with the Prison Entrepreneurship Program
This summer, I had the opportunity to spend a day with the Prison Entrepreneurship Program at their flagship office in Houston, Texas. Before arriving, I was purposely told little about the company besides what I’d gathered from research, with the intent of me hearing their full story with no previous expectations. I came out of that building with an overwhelming reassurance that I had chosen the correct industry, and that I was on the right path.
For a basic introduction to the Prison Entrepreneurship Program, their mission is to “unite business executives and inmates through entrepreneurial passion and servant leadership to transform lives, restore families and rebuild communities.” [1] This statement, and the others found on their website, acted as my initial impression, which I was already intrigued by.
As I arrived at the office at around 7:30 in the morning, I was immediately introduced to the team. After some quick introductions, I followed them to their conference room as they participated in a game and a devotional. I was instantly surprised and pleased by the strong culture already demonstrated, and the laughter that filled the small room that swiftly uplifted spirits and eased my nerves. Afterwards, I began to engage in a few interviews to gain more information about the place I was beginning to admire.
The P.E.P. is run by its current CEO, Bryan Kelley, a former inmate and completer of the program itself. He also happened to be the first man that I interviewed. Mr. Kelley promptly began by explaining to me his own journey, and how he personally came across the Prison Entrepreneurship Program (which I might add was an incredibly moving story.) Furthermore, he spoke about their mission to help those in extremely tedious situations find a new path towards success. All of this is accomplished through their use of accountability systems, educational programs on accounting, marketing, and bookkeeping, business strategies, coaching, and more. [2] The men are able to regularly pitch their entrepreneurial ideas to a board with constant feedback, which gives them a head-start when released. The program ends through a meaningful graduation ceremony, full of rejuvenation and joy.
Following my interview with Mr. Kelley, I met with two other employees of the program. They both explained to me that the real change within the P.E.P. occurs not in the classrooms, but in the dorms. The place where the men are able to build strong relationships, compare lessons learned, and support each other in finding a calling. They also illustrated that although the P.E.P. is not a faith-based organization, it encourages the inmates to grab onto something that is exuberant and supports the creation of vitality. Although I am not a particularly religious person, I greatly appreciated the perspective.
My own calling finds a lot of peace in programs such as the P.E.P. As I want to eventually become immersed in the criminology world (although very different in some ways from this organization) the P.E.P. 's values are ones that can be taken anywhere. Really, it can travel to any realm of criminal justice and psychology itself, as Bryan Kelley explained to me that the entire program is built on a mindset change.
When leaving the building after saying my farewells, I vowed to continue to keep up with the Prison Entrepreneurship Program, simply to see the progress that they make. Being in such a wonderful environment inspired me to not only persist down my own path, but also provided me an immense comfort that I was truly where I needed to be. I hope to continue to visit places such as the P.E.P. and add my own contributions to programs that want to see a magnificent change in the world.
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References
The 4 Main Parenting Styles and How They Influence Our Progression
Introduction
We hear children at a young age talk about their political beliefs and wonder where they learned them from. We observe their behavior and start to think about how they were taught to act that certain way. We look at the objects they own and ponder whether or not it was bought for them or if they earned it themselves. All of this traces back to two fundamental people: their parents.
As kids, we are first introduced to the world through the eyes of our parents. In most cases, who do our political ideologies line up with in young adulthood? Our mothers and fathers. Who teaches us manners and corrects us (or doesn’t) when we behave badly? Our mothers and fathers. Who shows us the value of money and approaches it in diverse ways depending on their social and financial status? Our mothers and fathers.
In the years that we reside with our parents, we are in our most vulnerable, developmental stage. It is clear that, in most instances, our parents have the strongest influence on how we are exposed to the world. It is evidently demonstrated that our parents have an effect on our psychological growth, depending on which parenting style they choose to exercise. With this research paper, I will be concerned with diving into the four main parenting styles: permissive, authoritative, neglectful, and authoritarian. I will be displaying how these four sway our progression as humans and who we become psychologically after having them be applied onto us.
Authoritarian Parenting
To begin, let’s take a look at authoritarian parenting. Its focal point is on being extremely strict and projecting an abundance of rules, great expectations, and boundaries onto the child, with a lack of receptiveness or open-mindedness. Dr. Dan Brennan discusses how its center revolves around discipline, rather than encouraging the child and focusing on more of a giving mindset. [1] It includes using power to enforce punishments and raising your voice extremely when the child needs to be corrected.
There is no room for praise or an acknowledgment of the child’s strengths/positive aspects. The word “obedience” is thrown around routinely, with high expectations on the child to follow every command with little space for error. The child is rarely exposed to positive reinforcement or reward. The phrase “Because I said so” is also regularly put to use in response to the child questioning the actions of the parent.
When the authoritarian parenting style is used, the effects tend to be negative. An article posted by Michigan State University says that children exposed to the authoritarian style gravitate towards a more aggressive way of communicating, while also feeling more socially awkward and unable to make decisions. [2] The child is more dependent on their parents. They tend to be more self-conscious and display low self-esteem, have trouble thinking for themselves, and later on in life, adopt their parents’ behavior.
For children that have already demonstrated behavioral issues, the authoritarian parenting style contributes to heightening these actions. Because of the lack of empathy that was exhibited by their parents, this demeanor is thrust onto the child as they grow. As indicated, the psychological impact is exceptionally subpar.
If a parent is not approachable or forthcoming about what their child wants emotionally, it can cause great psychological anguish. [3] When you force your child to do something without warmth, how do you think that will affect them? They will adopt great anxiety and fear of making a mistake, as well as overall unease. As they grow, these behaviors don’t just evanesce. These children can display this attitude for the rest of their lives, especially if the authoritarian parenting style isn’t shown as adverse to them later on.
Now, for the real question. Does authoritarian parenting work? Jen Lumanlan, a well-known psychologist and parent herself, had this to say: “Authoritarian parenting ‘works’ in that authoritarian parents tend to raise children who ‘tow the line’ and don’t ‘act out.’ But the child is most likely behaving in this way out of fear rather than because they have taken on their parent’s values as their own.” [4] This acts as an answer within itself, seeming to be more harmful than helpful.
Authoritative Parenting
Yes, the title is indeed similar to authoritarian parenting, but the differences are significant. This type of style establishes boundaries that their children must follow, but in a much more respectful manner. There is a healthy relationship between the parent and the child, with proper communication, affection, and compromise being demonstrated. The children of the authoritative parent don’t feel wary to ask questions, because their parents are willing to hear them. Discipline is still used, but in an encouraging way with a means to help them grow.
By using the authoritative parenting style, there is a balance of kindness and nurture, while letting the child know that there are still strict rules that need to be followed. Authoritative parents use more positive reinforcement than negative, which creates a stronger relationship between them and their children. [5] They let the child practice their individuality with regulations still present.
Children that are raised by authoritative parents tend to become more independent and cooperative. There is less backlash towards the parent because of the warm guidelines that have been set, with appropriate explanations behind them. Because of these healthy boundaries initiated by the parents, these children feel more prepared to think for themselves and become self-sufficient as they age. They also have a better sense of their emotions and emotional maturity, and can properly comprehend how to manage their feelings when approached with strenuous situations. [6] They also tend to demonstrate a happier demeanor.
According to Dr. Francyne Zeltser, authoritative parenting is the “most effective” style. They “allow their kids to make mistakes. This offers kids the opportunity to learn while also letting them know that their parents will be there to support them.” [7]
Permissive Parenting
The permissive style is just as it seems: a lenient way of approaching parenting. These parents are typically forgiving and demand very little of their children. An article written by Michigan State University says that these parents “look at their child as equal rather than children of a parent.” [8] They continue on to discuss how this can eventually lead to these adults feeling that it is an arduous task to even say no to their child, sometimes resulting in a fear of doing so. Presenting themselves as an authority figure is often not what occurs.
This particular parenting style does take more of a nurturing and loving approach. These parents are emotionally amenable when it comes to their children’s needs, imposing themselves as a friendly figure. As previously mentioned, the negatives relate to a lack of disciplining bad behavior. Without demands and limits being placed upon them, these children take on a mindset of simply doing whatever they want to do. “Children are impulsive, aggressive, and lack independence as well as personal responsibility, mainly due to the huge lack of boundaries.” [9]
When thinking of this parenting style, the word “indulgent” frequently makes itself known. Dr. Pamela Li says that in most cases, that word isn’t a good one. [10] Permissive parenting, though full of kindness, is seen as one of the “worst parenting styles.” With no boundaries to abide by, freedom reaches its limitations and boils over. Imagine someone never telling you “no” your entire life. When you finally do hear that word after you leave the comfort of your household, imagine how you would react. In frequent cases, the children who have grown up with a permissive parent don’t react well. For success, it seems there must be a balance of regulations and encouragement.
Neglectful (Uninvolved) Parenting
The last of the main styles is known as neglectful, or uninvolved, parenting. Originally proposed by psychologists Eleanor Maccoby and John Martin, say that these parents “are generally detached from their child’s life. They might make sure that their kids are fed and have shelter, but offer little to nothing in the way of guidance, structure, rules, or even support.” [11] They even continue on to say how they could even ignore their own child’s needs when the situation reaches extremities.
As we discussed in the permissive parenting style section, these parents offer support and kindness but no limitations. In the case of neglectful parenting, these adults offer neither. There are no constraints nor emotional support. “Uninvolved parents are neither responsive nor demanding.” [12] This is a particularly distant approach to parenting to a very extreme extent. There is no interest shown in the child’s personal endeavors, whether academic, emotional, etc.
The results of this parenting style are severe and plentiful. This includes: a lack of confidence and motivation, a full emotional range, mental disorders such as anxiety or depression, and many more detrimental traits. [13] Without a shown attentiveness from the parent, the child can feel isolated and alone in their own household. As these kids are in a massive developmental stage, they need more assistance from their parents, while also learning what and what not to do, hence the basic requirement of boundaries. The neglectful parenting style is full of negative connotations and should be avoided at all costs.
Conclusion
Those who have been exposed to the authoritative parenting style “tend to result in children who are happy, capable, and successful.” [14] With this consensus among others, it seems to be that the authoritative parenting style comes in first, while the neglectful parenting style comes in dead last. Though all children and their parents are different, and we can’t say for sure how each person will turn out, this evidence at least shows us what to expect when exposed to each strategy.
Each person reading this paper should take a look into their own childhood, and try to place themselves into a parenting style. Though we all might have unique snippets of each one, focus in on a specific technique. Was this a beneficial style that you look back on with nostalgia and love, or one that you severely wish you hadn’t been exposed to? If you were to become a parent, would you try to use the same approach that your parents did? How did this parenting style affect your mental health, success, and emotional range? Where did it place you today? Think about these questions as you finish reading, to be further contemplated when you possibly become a parent yourself someday.
My intention with this paper was to have each of us look back on how we were raised and provide some clarity. Though no parenting style is perfect, we now know how each of them severely influences us at our most developmental stage, and how we have grown in positive or negative ways because of them. Our parents raise us to become the humans we are today and if anything, we look to them for complete guidance. When we spend so much time with these people, how can they not critically impact our very being?
References
[1]https://www.webmd.com/parenting/authoritarian-parenting-what-is-it
[2]https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/authoritarian_parenting_style
[4] https://www.scarymommy.com/authoritarian-parenting
[5] https://parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style/
[6] https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/authoritative_parenting_style
[8] https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/permissive_parenting_style
[9] https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/permissive_parenting_style
[10] https://www.parentingforbrain.com/permissive-parenting/
[11]https://www.verywellmind.com/parenting-styles-2795072
[12] https://www.parentingforbrain.com/uninvolved-parenting/
[13] https://www.parentingforbrain.com/uninvolved-parenting/